Being a Mother | Pour Your Heart Out

Being a Mother | Pour Your Heart Out

Every single mom feels this way at some point. No matter how together we think we are or how not-together we think we are, no matter how patient we pride ourselves in being or how impatient we know we always are. no matter how we can speak quietly and calmly or how much we yell and scream over seemingly nothing in general, we’ve all been there. We all have good days and bad days. We all loose our temper. We all scream over nothing.

Being a Mother | Pour Your Heart Out

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We all feel bad about it later, sometimes even the very second it’s happening.

I grew up a bit differently than I and Mr. Right are raising our kids. Not in a bad way at all, we just handle personalities and who’s the boss a bit differently. I grew up knowing that whatever I was told to do it better be done without any questions. It wasn’t my place to question. They were the adult, not me. That sounds so much worse than it really was. It was a sign of respect, to obey without question.

I didn’t consciously think or know that I was going to be different with my own kids. I knew that I would probably not be as strict but I worried more about making sure I wasn’t the mom in the grocery store with the kid having the meltdown. That I wouldn’t and still won’t ever put up with.

One of my kids has a completely different personality than I had when I was growing up and one has a similar personality. I had no idea how to handle the one with a different personality. This child questions everything. Absolutely everything. It used to drive me nuts. I was always forcing them to “be respectful” and do what I said without question, and for the most part that’s fine. But they weren’t asking why because they were being disrespectful (most of the time anyway) or because they were being difiant, they were asking out of simple curiousity, out of a simple need to know what’s going on.

Thank the Good Lord for Mr. Right. he knew or realized the child’s personality and let me in on that. Mr. Right and I have not always communicated all that well so it honestly took a few years for me to realize this.

I had a wake-up call of sorts. I took a step back, opened my eyes and my heart and realized that I needed to handle this child differently. That it was ok to handle every aspect of parenting differently for each child if needed. I realized that you can have two different parenting styles for your two different children.

Since then, I have been much more understanding, much more patient, much more able to talk the child out of a mood or through an issue with a friend. And as a result, our relationship and the entire family’s relationship has gotten so much better.

Sure, I still freak out, I still have mornings were everything is going wrong and I loose it. It only takes about 3 minutes before I’m back telling that child how much I love them and that I’m so sorry.

Sometimes out of the blue I will start feeling guilty about the way I’ve acted or yelled or rushed through something they were saying. We all do it. We all try to do better.

I just hope and pray that this child, and the other child realize how very much I love them. How I just want them to grow up to be the best human that they can be, to grow and thrive and to learn from their mistakes an to know that everyone has bad days, everyone has things to feel guilty about. But to be able to forgive themselves and move on. To be able to understand that I am trying so hard to be the mother they want, the mother God designed me to be, to be the best mother I can be.

I’m linking up this week with Shell for Pour Your Heart Out.

12 Responses to "Being a Mother | Pour Your Heart Out"
  1. Shell says:

    What’s funny is I think I butt heads most often with my child who is most like me. I have to take deep breaths and realize what it is that is bugging me.

    • Anna says:

      I hear a lot of people say that the child they have the most issues with is the one most like themselves, it’s not the case for me. If I realize that I’m going to loose it in time I will stop and leave the room or close my eyes and wait a minute before talking with the child.

  2. Julie says:

    This is one thing I’m wondering about when it comes times for Hubby and I to have kids. We both grew up in different worlds and it will be interesting to see how that all comes about.

    Stopping by from PYHO :)

    • Anna says:

      I never even thought about it much until I had mine. I guess I just thought I would know when the time came but I never counted on having a child with such a strong personality. But that child is awesome no matter what and that personality is one of the reasons I love them so much. :)

  3. Evonne says:

    It took me some time to realize that I can love both of my kids the same and still treat them differently. My son and I have very similar personalities and he’s the one who I butt heads with most often. Thank goodness my husband has more patience than I often do!

  4. Ashley says:

    I struggle with having kids with such different personalities too- and what’s really tough is thinking you have things all figured out only to have another child handle things completely differently. Suddenly, you’re back to square one.

    Sigh.

    We do all have those days. We’re all only human- even moms. Deep breaths, and one challenge at a time!

    • Anna says:

      Exactly! I will think the child is going to react or handle something a certain way and them book they surprise me and handle it differently! Deep breaths and not worrying about yesterday or tomorrow is the key!! :)

  5. Emily thomas says:

    We told our daughter she could ask why but first had to say, “yes ma’am.” So she now says, “yes-ma’am-why?” It’s not EXACTLY what I had expected but whatever! :)

  6. misssrobin says:

    Yup, we all do it. I have definitely evolved as a mother, thank heavens. The things I used to think were important no longer matter so much. And I’ve learned to value the differences in my children when they aren’t exactly who I think they should be. I try to question myself when I start trying to change something. Is it really a problem or does it just bug me? Am I trying to change a behavior that’s actually inappropriate or am I trying to change my child? It took me a long time to really understand how to value each of them for those things that bug me, but I’ve seen the strength those things can be and how they help them and us.

    Happy Sharefest.

    • Anna says:

      Oh my, yes. I’ve thought about that before too, am I correcting a behavior that needs to change or that they need to learn to curb or am I trying to make them be who I think they need to be? I try to step back and think a little before. :)

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